Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The end is the beginning

The spring winds are blowing in Seattle now, and the cool salty air brings a fresh perspective on life. There have been a lot of things to think about in the past months, about life, work, and travel. And I've finally made the plunge, to take the step in my own direction.
When I went to visit Sarah Plants in the hospital, on the day she died, I came away with a stark realization about life. Here she was, lying in a bed and straining for breath, warm to the touch, but in my mind, and in the minds of most of the people there, already gone. Her body was slowly becoming an empty shell, just another piece of decaying organic matter.
I returned to work only to find that I too was decaying slowly. I was waiting for death, instead of fighting for life, and it bothered me. Then at Sarah's funeral I was deeply touched by how many people had wonderful stories about her, and how she inspired and continues to inspire bravery in everyone she knew. It made me want to throw a frisbee in a crowd, it made me want to talk to the pretty girls I've seen but hadn't the guts to approach, and it made me want to live.
And the truth is, I've been waiting for this moment all my life. I've been waiting for tomorrow, but tomorrow continues to be just a day away. I'm tired of waiting. It may not be the right decision, but it is mine to make. So I've done (finally) what I've been talking about doing for years. Now that the hardest part is over, its time to get down to planning the journey. More on that to come....

1 comment:

Seattle Raft & Kayak said...

Amen Christian! I'm so glad to see examples of good things arising from Sarah's death. I'll be reading this for sure! Check out my blog about Adventure stories from the grand canyon and more. The latest entries also include ms. Sarah plants. Love you! Good luck and hopefully I'll be able to join you for a spell.