March blues

The sun rises alone today. Much like the other days of the year. Yesterday some people told me that I was so lucky, to be able to wander off whenever I choose and to sit outside the surf break and come surf when I want. They have a point, I am lucky to be able to do it, but at the same time, they have something that I do not, and something I am increasingly missing. An anchor. I have 6 on board, but that's not what I mean. Something that keeps them here. I am only where I am at the moment, and soon enough, that moment will end. What I really mean is that I'm starting to feel lonely. Starting. Its been building since I was four years old, and sometimes I can ignore it, while other times I am drowning. Everyone is moving back to the summer spawning grounds, the northern nests, and the tourists here all have families or at least lovers. I have Altair, but she doesn't breathe or have heartbeat to listen to in the night, just creaking bones and assorted metal pieces clanking around. The life that comes to me comes from other people, and they are far away.

There are some beautiful things I get to see, but they lack the meaning without getting to share them with someone. I can try to share with you, faithful blog reader, but that isn't quite the same, I am sorry to say. Anyways, I am coming home, not because the money is really running out, but because I lack the enthusiasm to go on alone.

The surf shot is from Kemi Vernon